blank .

My head is empty.. haha
due to the fact that i'm exhausted from such an action packed weekend! haha
i slept about 10 hours last night,
and i think i need another 100! LOL

i seriously want to go shopping,
shopping for clothes~
too bad i need like an XXXL here,
cos everyone is so fricken tiny! HA
i bet christina would need an XL lol.
ah well..
i guess its a good incentive..
but i still want to eat fried chicken..
you can never have enough fried chicken!
but i'm too lazy to go and buy it too..
what shall i have for dinner??
uh.. i know lol..
ugh~ at least school is over..
i can go home and facebook and watch movies. LOL!

i don't even know what the purpose of this post is..
..... meh.

a diamond in the rough.

hmm..
having just reread my previous post,
i feel like a complete and utter fool.
why must i always figure this out afterwards?
i guess its better late than never.
i have absolutely no feelings left for 'the guy'
infact i'm so sick of the way guys are atm.
finding a perfect guy is really like finding a diamond in the rough.

Last night i was watching americas next top model,
and i was so absorbed in it,
i forgot i was in another country, and in another bed.
then the commercial comes on
and i just think.. "oh.. right.. i'm in korea aren't i?"
LOL. i guess just the fact that i have to rely on myself,
and the fact that its always the same routine,
just made me feel more secure.
and made where i'm staying, just feel like home to me.
it's scaring me! lol
i NEED to go back home.
but i just thought, how cool would it be
if the girls came over to korea for our 21st.
i could show them around, and after,
they don't have to go to a hotel or whatever,
they can just crash at mine!
i mean its not too small.
and i'm sure we'd be spending more time outside it then inside it.
but that means i gotta stay a year..
and am i up for teaching for another 6 months?
i mean its not that hard..
it's just the fact that i'm going to HAVE to.
hmm..

ugh.. i'm just so tired.
despite the fact that i tried to sleep early last night.. 11pm
i fell asleep around 3am, and again woke up at 12pm
which meant i had to catch the taxi to school..
and thats not cheap either! it's just over 10 dollars..
and i guess it doesn't sound like too much,
but think about it.. if i caught the taxi everyday..
$10 x 5days x 4weeks.. = 200 dollars!
which is like 2 pairs of really nice shoes!
and come to think of it.. i've caught the taxi like 10 times already!!
thats like $100!! argh! enuff! lol

ugh i have class in like 30 minutes..
don't make me! T_T
so much for exercising this morning haha..
and tonight i just feel like getting fried chicken :P
but i don't know whether to or not,
because tmr night or it might be sat,
i'm staying at a friends house,
and we are definitely getting fried chicken then..
but i duno if i can wait! HA!
but i'm supposed to be saving money T_T
i'm going to go back home with NO MONEY..
that's why you girls should come here! lol
theres tonnes of shopppppping.. come on! lol

anyway, this post is getting too long.. haha
and despite what you sed cecie, about having to allow comments on here,,
i'm going to take it off soon!
how embarrassing to find no one reads my blog!
i guess i should publicise it,
but i'm scared people i don't want reading it..
will read it! lol.
anyhooo ciao~! have a good day
xoxo gossip girl..HAHAHA jokes..
xoxo yooooonah

i don't want nobody else, i don't need somebody else to tell me about love ♬

I had never felt like wanting to go home as much as i did last night.
I just kept questioning,
What if i hadn't come here?
What if i had been there for her?
What if i could have made her feel just that little bit better?
Why on bloody earth did i come here?

Seriously coming here has caused me nothing but trouble.
I mean sure, i made a lot of really special friendships,
and nothing would make me regret that,
but at the end of the day,
my reason for being here is not the same as other peoples.

This was my easy way out of uni,
incase i had failed all my subjects,
incase i was going to be kicked out..
but the fact is i wasn't going to be kicked out,
i found that out, before my acceptance to this program even came
but here i am anyway..
all because of the same thing..
A GUY. A stupid guy.
It's always about guys.
and being here, it hasn't taken me away from thinking about guys,
it's making me think about guys even more.
and what the hells the point,
in 6 months or a years time, we will all go back to our real lives.
the ones we so desperately wanted to leave behind.

Right now all i'm doing is living a dream..
thinking that everything back home is okay.
but in actual fact it isn't,
and i have to be ready to face that when i get home..
taking time off it, won't fix whats waiting for me,
it'll just put it off for awhile.

As for my guy problems,
I still like him..
and i just feel so stupid for feeling like this.
I drank my feelings the other night,
and I cried like anything,
it's so stupid that guys can make girls so sad and hurt.
They shouldn't be allowed to.

and just liking him is just so frustrating and causes problems.
I should just get over him.

2 nights ago, another guy told me he is crushing on me,
and even though i think he is cute,
and despite the fact i DID have a crush on him,
i just keep thinking about the other guy..

my heart just aches.
and i HATE it.

my world crumbled.. just like that.

after what i thought was a perfect weekend,
that it wasn't.

after confessing my crush,
and being rewarded with info that he liked me too,
it was the best feeling in the world.

not so now,
knowing he's too hurt and scarred from his previous relationship..
he wants nothing..
despite what his feelings may be,
he decided to follow his head and not his heart.

and my world crumbled..

just . like . that.

smart choices

what the fuck was i thinking?
we live on opposite sides of the world!
we live completely separate lives,
we both need to figure out our futures..
theres so many factors against us!
and i'm still stressing..
and we're not even together!
i need to stop thinking that things may work out
and i need to start thinking,
we can't be together!
i mean what's the point,
in 6 months or a years time,
we'll be saying farewell just like everyone else
so what's the point of trying to make it work,
and become something, that will just be for nothing.
and that 2 people might just get a heartache from
and that's another thing,
i came here, because i knew
i shouldn't let a guy stop me from doing what i wanted
and i also decided that i'll only be here for 6 months,
but now that there's a guy that i like here,
i want to stay a year!
like OMG!!
i am so predictable..

i should quit while i'm ahead..
for everyone's sake.

"little crazy monsters they are" she says

i have found the hardest job in life.. TEACHING
you can't get them to listen for a whole minute!
i had to pull out my big guns.. and speak a bit in korean today..
but it did work. they did listen when i told them to shut up in korean! haha

so this is my 4th day teaching, it is getting better.
and i think i am getting the gist of it.
besides from work there is other stuff going on.

like i have a crush on this guy...
he told me he does too, only i think i bore the poor guy.
so now all i can think is..
why am i so boring, why doesn't he find what i say interesting
and will it be like this, cos if it is,
then my gosh we'd be the boringest couple ever! haha

either way, im still crushing on him
i dunno whats going to happen..
hmmmmmmmm...
it also doesn't help that theres a bazillion other girls crushing on him too!

i have the grade 2's next. they're absolute nightmares,
especially this one kid. they're due any minute!

so i'll keep you guys posted!
i hope you are all having fun at uni!
study haaaaaaaaard!!! :D
xo

p.s i'm so bored at home!
i finished gossip girl, started watching 90210,
now i'm just watching re runs of america's next top model!
any recommendations????

wow..

so much has happened, since the last time i blogged?
i moved down from yong in,
to gyeong ju, where i had another week of orientation,
we met our co-teachers,
and had more fun..
that included alot of nrb-ing (karaoke)
then on friday i moved down here,
where i will stay for the remainder of my contract,
yeong ju it is called.
my room is very nice,
brand new, very clean,
nice wallpaper,, haha
wats best is,,
i don't have to pay for water or internet!
yay.. so all i pay for is electricity and gas..
so i don't have to pay for as much utility bills as other ppl..

tomorrow i start going to school,
but i don't think i actually start teaching till wednesday,
which is a relief, considering, i havent prepared anything yet.
so i'll do that tomorrow and tuesday..

then this saturday all they gyeongbuk scholars
are meeting up, for drinks.. whoot!
the best thing about being here?
no parents!!!! hahaha..

ohh.. and the most important news,
i broke it off with the 29 y.o.
he was getting too clingy, and too scary
he asked me to meet his dad.. thats a big NO NO..
anyway, hopefully he gets over it quick
he's a nice guy..
just not the guy for me..

miss you all!!! especially you cecie!!
cos i'm sure you're the only one who reads this lol.
xoxoxo luv u

p.s i am now starting gossip girl second season! lol
i should be finished it within this week lol